Let’s face it: changing your relationship status from “in a relationship” to “single” is rarely easy. But although things didn’t go exactly as planned, a breakup recovery provides the chance for you to take a step back and evaluate your life, who you are and what you want (or don’t want) in a partner. Here are seven lessons you’ll learn that’ll help you heal after a breakup.
1. A relationship won’t make you happy
Romance movies tend to promote the idea that there’s another person out there who “completes you” or will be your “better half”. This sounds great in movies and makes our hearts melt, but you’ll learn that it’s simply not true in reality. After a break-up, you’ll realise that a relationship takes two wholesome people who are happy as individuals but decide to be happy together. When one partner relies on the other for their source of happiness, things tend to get out of balance. It’s not your job to make him happy. He’s responsible for his happiness, and you for yours. Your happiness comes from within.
2. Compatibility is important
Sure, dating a guy who’s into different things than you are can make for a great time. You’ll both get to explore each other’s hobbies, try new things and make an adventure out of it. It can be amazing, for sure. Just make sure that you don’t skip over the important details that can really test compatibility, such as religion, goals in life, financial views and even politics. We tend to avoid these topics because they can be nerve wracking to talk about. But trust me, having these conversations early on can help you avoid putting too much time (and love) into something that simply won’t work. Being compatible is extremely important and often overlooked.
3. Remember your friends and family
We’re all guilty of it. We get into a relationship, fall in love and end up spending all of our time with our significant other. Things seem to be going great at first, but then you start getting calls and texts from your friends and family saying they miss you and you never come around anymore. It’s great to spend time with your significant other, but remember the people who have always been there and give them your time and attention as well. After all, they’re who you turn to when you’re feeling down or need help.
4. Being in love and loving someone are two very different things
You love your parents. You love your best friend. You love that new eyeshadow palette you just bought. But being in love is a completely different thing. When you’re truly in love, that passion and care for one another comes full circle. As much as you love and care for him, you can rest assured that he’s loving and caring for you the same. With love flowing both in and out from your heart, you’re empowered to love and celebrate who you are, knowing that he’s loving and celebrating who you are right along with you.
5. You’re worth way more than to settle for less than you deserve
Never stay in a relationship if you know it’s not healthy for you. Your happiness and wellbeing are far more important than the relationship. The moment that you realise you could do better, call it off. Listen to the voice inside you that’s rooting for your happiness and success. A breakup recovery may hurt at first, but you’ll feel so amazing in the end knowing that you stood up for yourself and did what’s best for your happiness. Never settle—in love or in life.
6. Love comes when you least expect it, so enjoy life in the meantime
More often than not, we tend to believe that falling in love is what’s going to complete us and make us feel whole. So what do we do? We go searching for love, it ends up not working and we beat ourselves up for not being “good enough”. Instead, stop looking for love. The thing about love is, it truly does come when you least expect it. In the meantime, remember that you have a life full of adventure and excitement ahead of you. You have your career, health, travel, friendships and so much more to look forward to. Instead of looking for love, spend your time truly enjoying your life and discovering more about who you are. Love will come on its own time.
7. You’re stronger than you think
Recovering after a breakup is never fun. It’s energy-consuming and the pain may seem to last forever. But remember, what you lose in heart you gain in soul. Though your heart may ache for some time, you will heal after a breakup and you’ll become stronger. With this newly gained strength you’ll be able to tackle other obstacles that come in your way, both in love and in life. You’re truly stronger than you think… and everything will be okay in the end.